Tag: heartmom
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I Dare You to Believe How Much I love you.
Dancing on the Waves by Bethel Music & We The Kingdom The four of us were sitting at the invisible corners of the round table. Alex and I were huddled close together over the phone screen and Eddie’s mom was bent over to the right of us. Her husband (Eddie’s dad) was still sitting in…
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Double Feature and The End.
Never Enough from The Greatest Showman, sang by Loren Allred and… One More Day by Diamond Rio Alex and I went to Mexico for a week’s long vacation; it was a very generous gift from my dad’s sister, Ronda and it was proposed to us only a couple weeks after William died. I didn’t know…
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William in the Salon.
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson I have one of my best friends, Rialee (Mariah Lee is her full name, but I can’t switch from Rialee over eight years later) who waxes my eyebrows. For the little amount of eyebrow hair I have, I’m pretty picky and she puts up with it with so much grace.…
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William’s Dad.
Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis, sang by Haley Reinhart It’s impossible to talk about William further without talking about his dad, Alex. So, buckle up- there’s gonna be a lot of sap and a lot of love in this one. I looked at Kara, while my heart was pretty close to breaking through…
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Some Things Can’t Be Fixed.
I’ll Be by Reba McEntire I’ve said it a few times in these blog posts, but becoming and being William’s mom is the most incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. This past week, I’ve given myself permission to imagine what it would be like if he would’ve been born healthy. I’ve not only imagined…
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You Can Do Anything.
Angel By The Wings by Sia Last week I shared that I had experienced about a month long deep depressive episode after having a miscarriage and this week, I want to dive a little bit further into that. I know I don’t usually put any disclaimers or trigger warnings on these posts because they are…
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Quiet, Gentle Hope.
What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish It’s pretty ironic that I’ve started re-writing this piece several times now because I don’t know how to share with you how I’m feeling. I think the main reason is I don’t want to share this experience any further some days. It’s painful and exhausting, not to…
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He’s Been Rescued.
Rescue by Lauren Daigle Laying my eyes on William for the first time was earth shattering in the best way. Anytime I describe that moment, and each moment of being his mom since, that’s the best way I know how to describe it. That moment didn’t just change my life, it shattered my world. Everything…
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An Open Letter to You, Reader.
The Winner Takes it All by ABBA, sung by November Ultra Dearest Reader, This is a letter to you; to each of you who love William, Alex and me. A little different this week and I think by the end of this, you’ll understand why. I do want to give fair warning to you because…
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We’ll Be Alright.
The Light by Sara Bareilles We walked around the parking lot of Maple Grove Hospital after it was recommended by one the ambulance EMTs. The idea was to give them space and time to get William to M Health Children’s Masonic Hospital and in the NICU. We had talked to several people in such a…