• I Dare You to Believe How Much I love you.

    Dancing on the Waves by Bethel Music & We The Kingdom The four of us were sitting at the invisible corners of the round table. Alex and I were huddled close together over the phone screen and Eddie’s mom was bent over to the right of us. Her husband (Eddie’s dad) was still sitting in…

    Stephany Luithly

    April 10, 2024
    Uncategorized
    chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss
  • Double Feature and The End.

    Never Enough from The Greatest Showman, sang by Loren Allred and… One More Day by Diamond Rio Alex and I went to Mexico for a week’s long vacation; it was a very generous gift from my dad’s sister, Ronda and it was proposed to us only a couple weeks after William died. I didn’t know…

    Stephany Luithly

    February 19, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, music
  • William in the Salon.

    Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson I have one of my best friends, Rialee (Mariah Lee is her full name, but I can’t switch from Rialee over eight years later) who waxes my eyebrows. For the little amount of eyebrow hair I have, I’m pretty picky and she puts up with it with so much grace.…

    Stephany Luithly

    February 12, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, hair stylist, heartmom, infantloss, music, salon family
  • From: William’s Dad.

    We’re In This Together by Nine Inch Nails I remember when Steph told me her idea of William’s Playlist.  I told her I thought that it was a great idea and that it would be a great way to use something we both love, music, to help her explain the huge amounts of emotion that we…

    Stephany Luithly

    February 5, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heart dad, infantloss, music
  • William’s Dad.

    Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis, sang by Haley Reinhart It’s impossible to talk about William further without talking about his dad, Alex. So, buckle up- there’s gonna be a lot of sap and a lot of love in this one. I looked at Kara, while my heart was pretty close to breaking through…

    Stephany Luithly

    January 29, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, marriage, miscarriage, music
  • Some Things Can’t Be Fixed.

    I’ll Be by Reba McEntire I’ve said it a few times in these blog posts, but becoming and being William’s mom is the most incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. This past week, I’ve given myself permission to imagine what it would be like if he would’ve been born healthy. I’ve not only imagined…

    Stephany Luithly

    January 22, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, miscarriage, motherhood, music
  • You Can Do Anything.

    Angel By The Wings by Sia Last week I shared that I had experienced about a month long deep depressive episode after having a miscarriage and this week, I want to dive a little bit further into that. I know I don’t usually put any disclaimers or trigger warnings on these posts because they are…

    Stephany Luithly

    January 15, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, mentalhealth, miscarriage, music
  • Quiet, Gentle Hope.

    What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish It’s pretty ironic that I’ve started re-writing this piece several times now because I don’t know how to share with you how I’m feeling. I think the main reason is I don’t want to share this experience any further some days. It’s painful and exhausting, not to…

    Stephany Luithly

    January 8, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, miscarriage, music
  • He’s Been Rescued.

    Rescue by Lauren Daigle Laying my eyes on William for the first time was earth shattering in the best way. Anytime I describe that moment, and each moment of being his mom since, that’s the best way I know how to describe it. That moment didn’t just change my life, it shattered my world. Everything…

    Stephany Luithly

    January 1, 2024
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, music
  • An Open Letter to You, Reader.

    The Winner Takes it All by ABBA, sung by November Ultra Dearest Reader, This is a letter to you; to each of you who love William, Alex and me. A little different this week and I think by the end of this, you’ll understand why. I do want to give fair warning to you because…

    Stephany Luithly

    December 18, 2023
    Uncategorized
    aorticstenosis, chd, grief, heartmom, infantloss, miscarriage, music
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